the best thinking moments

..they were talking about her precious gem. The one she knew so well, and loved. And it felt so strange to hear someone else talking about him, critisizing him, failing to see what she saw. And she couldn't help but resist, and maybe she shouldn't have. She wanted to be there without him, but they brought him up. And all of a sudden it was like a train, at high speed and maximum momentum, and she was in it, but she was still..not moving.


... It was taken all away, ever since the beginning.

on the fingers of one hand

mmm, I was thinking today. Not that I didn't have anything better to do, but, I was thinking. Janice loves to use the word Princess... granted, since it's her profession; and well, I tried to make a list of all the people who made me feel like a princess in my life.

First and foremost there's my Nannu.
Many people seem to have had a special relationship with their grandparents. He was quiet, reseved and strict. But he had a soft spot for me. I was his gal. I still remeber the cosy feeling of his embrase. We used to spend endless hours playing Bella Donna, and Bella Donna halliela. And I know he always let me win. My mum says he was a chain smoker, but he never smoked in my presence. He was tall and sleak for his age. I came across some photos of when he was younger, the other day, and let me tell you, he was a real charmer. Nanna says he was a playboy before they got married; no wonder! His family was poor but nonetheless he studied and became a nurse, after being a bus driver for I don't know how long. I didn't go to see him when he was in hospital. I wouldn't have bared to have him look at me and not recognize me. I think of him almost every day. He is my guardian angel, I'm sure.

Well, now the other people who made me feel like a princess will look a bit dull compared to him, but anyway, they are all very special just the same.

There's Janice obviously. She makes me feel special.. even though we don't meet much she really keeps me on top of her lists all the time. We are oh so different but we actually celebrate this.. our friendship is, I would say: sizzling.

There's Dz.. I don't need to go into much detail here..given the elogju I wrote a few days ago. But yes, he does make me feel special.

Then there's another person. No need to mention his name but he was the one that inspired me to write this blog. He said something once, which I will remember for the rest of my life. Something you would say to someone you really think highly of. And well, I started thinking highly of this person ever since.

Now that's quite a long list of special people..

pillow case theory

Please submit anger management strategies here.. the more the merrier.. fast!

mondays

this is a list of the things that happened to me today..

1. Woke up at 7.30 and couldnt get back to sleep, until 8.55, 5mins before the alarm was set to wake me up

2. left early to pick il-Duka up, cause I'm too good, and when we finally got to university there were so many cars looking for parking that I had to drive back to S.Gwann, and park miles away.

3..this also meant that we got to lecture 15minutes late

4.. and on the way there I realized that all the liquid in my very carefully prepared salad had soaked into my bag..

5... ie.. everywhere was smelling like old socks.

6. after university..went to buy myself a lovely laminating machine. The road was disasterous. Had the shop been in the middle of a crator on the moon, it would have been easier to get there. Anyway..

7. Got back home, still happy with my new technology.. but alas! I found it has a missing stopper. So it's imbalanced..

8. In the middle of my swearing at the idiot who packed the laminator, my eyes focused on unauthorized movement on my desk. ANTS!! They decided to use my room as a bypass for the roof! Not a nice threat for someone who is not so comfortable in the company of insects

9. The intrusion required immediate action, so I got THE antpoison and starting climbing to place it in a strategic place. The strategic place required me to hang from the shelves, holding only with one hand and one leg. What was I doing with the other hand? I was hitting it really hard against one of the shelves..it is still aching.

and it is still early...

I hate mondays.

Salty stuff

I wasn't even going out. The weather was horrible and I was tired stiff, but something inside me wasn't going to rest until I got dressed and left for the bar.

Well, let me skip the nitty gritty and get to the nice stuff. Princess was amazing. I hadn't heard her sing for ages and ages and I had missed it. Her voice is like a bowl of cherries; bubbly and so natural.

The music was really good. I found myself keeping the beat instinctively. They've already got a groovy style. There is something mystical which binds them. It's unexplainable, but its there. A sort of aura, an aim.

Still, Princess was best..keep it up cherry ;)

malti

Inhasdet. Ma kienetx qeghda tistenna li jnizzluha minn gos-shab daqshekk hesrem. U il-hasda kibret x'hin ghajnejha iffukaw fuq wicc il-profs ftit centimetri il-boghod minn wiccha.
Jaqq; setghet tarha kull toqbda fejn qabel kien hemm tebgha tal-gilda. U setghet ixxomm ir-riha ta cafe` kark li probabli kien xorob ezatt qabel rehielha ghal dik is-siegha maghhom.
"Ghadek ma qomtx sinjorina, dologhdu? Ma hallewkx torqod billejl jaqaw? jew kellek x'taghmel?"
Sparhom il-mistoqsijiet. U ma kull wahda ghajnejh xeghlu iktar bil-pjacir hu u jara il-misthija iddelli fuq wiccha. Jew ghalmenu hekk haseb hu x'hin rahha tbaxxi rasa u tpoggi idha fuq halqha. Ried ihalli ftit sekondi biex igawdi il-figura li kien ghadu kif qata` qabel jikser is-silenzju. L-istudenti l-ohra kienu qeghdin jifluhom sew, l-ewwel lilu, issa bilwieqfa dritt dritt qisu xi general wara battalja kiefra imma rebbieha, u hi imgedsa fuq is-siggu, kwazi kwazi tistenniha se tinfaqa tibki dalwaqt.

Tista tahseb kif baqa` kulhadd x'hin flok lefqa ta` biki, instemet spluzjoni ta dak hierga minn taht dik l-id. Hi tefghet rasha lura tant kienet qawwijja id-dahka. U sa dan it-tant kulhadd kien ghadu iccassat. Il-profs biss, gismu bhal qisu inxtorob; fekruna kif thoss li riesaq xi ghadu, dahal go qoxortu minghajr qas biss tharrek.

"Ha naraw, ejja, share the joke, forsi nidhak jien ukoll la narak hierga l-barra mil-kamra."

Id-dahka bdiet tmajna bil-mod, sa ma spiccat fix-xejn. Imma fuq wiccha baqghet dik id-dbissima sarkastika, mimlija bl-ewforja tat-tpattija.

"Ma nafx min liktar fis-shab jien dolghodu; jekk hux min qed jiccassa ftit,.. jew min nesa` jilbez iz-zarbun!"

U ghajnejn kulhadd waqghu fuq il-papocc tas-sodda tal-profs; kulur kannella hamrani, mimli toqob u tentix!

"Sorry"
Vague sound of rain
pierces through my song again
but I get distracted by the way his toes move when he plays
so I let it burn

I just poured my heart out
there's bits of it on the floor
And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water
And call him up for more

And I say baby, yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too
He said I'm sorry
so sorryI'm sorry
so sorry

He grabs my wrists
as my fingers turn into angry fists
and I whisper why can't you love me, I'll change for you
I'll play the part

And I say baby, so I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry
so sorry
I'm sorry
I am sorry

a rusted reflection

Ode to all the crappy sh** about anger management and counting to ten before erupting like a Vessuvius in his better days.
Humans are faulty computers. They watch films and think that everything else works like those 120mins. They expect romatic love stories with a good dose of happy ending for instance. And then, shock of the shocks, someone gets very sick, or someother gets a bit edgy, and all the romatic happy ending goes up in smoke taking with it the love story as well. We are growing our children in all this unfortunately. Everyone is trying to make his/her life as similar as possible to that perfect fairytale, keeping all the anger and fear and hatred and hurt inside, and then we all look surprised when out comes the paper attatched to a divorce lawyer, full of tiny bullets, and a straight line with "please sign here" at the very very bottom.
We, in turn, were grown in a world were everyone thinks only about himself, his needs and his interests. We rarely stop to think what is best for someone else, or to understand someone else's point of view. And if by any genetic error we actually do..then someone else crops up telling us we're softy idiots.
It is a vicious circle. I don't do it, so you don't do it, so he doesn't do and so on. Why should I do it if no one else bothered? And all our values down the drain. I'm not innocent either. I'm as guilty as everyone else. Nowaday we all sit at our computers, staring at that blank screen for hours on end; to think that everything we are actually interacting with is a set of 1s and 0s. And there is a person sitting at the other computer, or cooking downstairs, or watching tv in the other room, and it never crosses our minds to go over and simply be in the room with them. Sure, there's plenty of time to do that, we can do it some other day, yeah right, on the 12th of never.

Lancome

Cic

Dear You,

I am writing this with the hope you will never get to read it before my death. I have known you for over a year now, and I often find myself thinking back on the days when I used to look at you from a distance. You where quiet, shy, spoilt, lonely, independent and appealing. I also remember myself always overdoing it with words, actions and smss. Then we got closer, 11 months ago, and there started my mad rollercoaster ride.
You pissed me off a million times, confused me a million others and made me cry rivers and rivers. It was though, I admit it, and it still is. But today I realize how you helped me grow up and mature. You taught me how to love you, and you showed me the real value of simple gestures. I had to learn how to count to 1000,000 before I blow my top. You taught me the softness of a touch and the harshness of a pinch. You taught me how to draw, and even though you are so good at it, you still find things to praise in my simple, sketchy drawings. You listen and listen and listen to my endless chatter and taught me how to listen too, to your silence. You taught me how to drive, let me get behind your steering wheel; let me overheat your car. I savoured the stars with you, and the smell of the sea, and the sound of the boats floating, but also the mosquito bites while drunk. I shared my greatest secret with you, and you didn't make it weigh. You wanted me to participate in your journey as an artist and professional, and you value my opinions more than any other. You taught me how to admit when I'm wrong, and you ALWAYS know when I'm lying. We shared the most delicious white chocolate cheese cake ever, and fought over our first ever fried ice-cream and baci cake. You want me always walking in front, and you always make sure I don't get under any cars, be it with some nasty comment, a firm order or a gentle tug. You hugged me when I cried because I thought I was disappointing you... and deep down I know you trust my driving, even though you give me such a hard time.

...

Love,
Christine

Like a butterfly,
Soft wings, tender touch,
I fly towards
What I long for so much.

Like a ray of sun,
Moving through the skies,
I search restless
For warm lullabies.

2,5

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. !
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

reflection

sun --> moon
thin--> fat
blue--> red
italy--> england
in--> out
hard--> soft
cold--> warm

rainy day

Feeling of sorrow,
Like there is no tomorrow.
A feeling so bleak,
You don't know where to seek..
the freedom.

Feeling sublime,
Entrance intertwine,
Saving your soul
From that which is so foul,
at touch, at sight...

Escape unharmed,
A dream of no sound,
A wish of the day,
When it is away.

(>"")> <(""<)

...having such limited audience does have it's disadvantages...

*star wars sound track*

Well, I was fed up and angry, and a thiny whiny bit annoyed, soooo.. I did it the unethical way.

NO! Don't go thinking rude things!

Being a supersexy superheroine does have some advantages. I have contacts in the high ranks, close underpayed employees of the big boss. So I stormed into his office, and before he could utter a word I had my pointer finger pointing exactly in between his eyes.

"EROS!" I said bravely...

"Give me back my powers!" *fire burning in my eyes*.

"NOW!" *thunders flashing out of my ears*..

"or else...!"

.. he was trembling all over I tell you. He couldn't even speak I tell you! And he pointed at a nice mauve coloured bottle on his fire place. I walked over to it, never taking my eyes off the naked brute, grabbed the bottle and drank my powers back. Ahhh, felt so good to be my self again. Temptation was too great.. there were so many bottles there, all powers no one was ever going to reclaim... I grabbed a nice cherry red one and *gulp* down it went.

"Thanks boss"

And out I flew to the rescue of my fans!

...not such a bad guy after all...

answers

here are the results of the maltese vote:

1) human:
in the morning: the first years of life, when the human is still a baby crawling.
noon: the adult life where the human walks on two legs
in the evening: old age, and the walking stick.

2) envelope

3) the moon

4) your temper

5) me!

riddle me ridiculous

Cicra has yet another quest. In order to re-enter the Silent City, she must first answer the following riddles.. HELP HER!!

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 at noon and 3 in the evening?

What starts with "e" ends with "e" and contains only one letter?

.Born at the same time as the world, destined to live as long as the world, and yet never five weeks old. What is it?

This you should always keep - no one else wants it.

It wasn't my sister, nor my brother, but still was the child of my father and mother. Who was it?

is it me?

CICRA..el cicre.. hits again!

it was dark and scary..and silent. I entered the City of you'll-loose-your-superpowers without knowing what to expect, and i regretted it as soon as i stepped in. I couldnt fly!! well..as i said, it was scary dark and silent in there. I needed to find the antidote.. Janna said it was in there and i was ready to go through thick and thin and hot and cold and high and low to get it!

the streets were narrow, and shadows loomed heavily everywhere. i walked in my 6-inch heels trying to be as silent as possible. I could sense evil everywhere. I was following florescent arrows set every few steps on the pavement. I came to a small opening with an inscription: "XARA". I was going to start wondering what that meant when out of the shadows emerged 4 murky figures... the strangest i had ever seen. One tall and bent, the other short and with a strange handbag handing down his side..the eyes of this one were horribly penetrating.. the other petit and pale..and finally, the scariest: long hair, bent nose.. and a mix between a slim and a beer-bellied brute. Oh god, i thought..im done for! But.. apparently they were not hungry..cause the brute said.. let's play hide and seek! If you find us we'll give you what you are looking for!

So I spent the next hour trying to catch the strange beings..to no avail..each time they got to the home before me...i so got frustrated that well.. i decided i'd try visiting the place another time.. i missed my powers and i knew the real world needed me...bye bye again antidote.

...

Something has left my life
And I don’t know where it went to
Somebody caused me strife
And it’s not what I was seeking.

Didn’t you see me,
didn’t you hear me
Didn’t you see me standing there

Why did you turn out the lights
Did you know that I was sleeping

Say a prayer for me
Help to feel the strength I did
My identity has been taken
Is my heart breaking on me

All my plans fell though my hands
They fell
Though my hands on me
In my obvious it suddenly seems
Empty

The cranberries

Blonde Redheads...

i sang so hard and loud that they finally let me go. Actually, they begged me to leave. I think they realized what a waste of talent it would have been to keep me in there.

Still no precious diamond retrieved. I'm wasting lots of energy just thinking about how to sort out the quest.. needless to say, I'm still at a loss. One diamond is getting all the more irritating by the minute..the other is growing facial hair.

Anyhow.. I had a very bad adventure this week. I fought none other than Vessuvius! Oh geeeze! He's one tough nut to crack. Blows his top too quickly for my tastes. We wriggled and squickled and huddled and paddled and meddled and saddled till he had no more lava to blow at my hair! Then, he just went to sleep..not even a goodnight... hehhh..men. Thing is.. when I got back home I had the shock of my life. ME.. the fairest fair maiden around.. was a REDHEAD!!! I did need a change.. but I would have preffered my hairdresser: Guy and Gay, to do that..

Arrivedorci

Room with a View

ooo how i hate when this happens! I'm trapped! In a room with nothing but a computer...funnily enough, connected to the internet. Dr. Arbromagik lured me into this I'm sure!! I think it's some sort of reverenge for my killing almost all him army of "deadly" beasts. But I'm sorry, it's not my fault that he has a bunch of grannies to protect him. I've no idea how on earth he managed to trap me here... actually, it was quite easy. But tell me; who can resist a lovely smell such as roast ham and apple pie?!

Anyway, after eating all the stuff and realizing too late it might be poisened, I decided to try my luck with this computer. I would have bet my left ear that it wouldn't work but amazingly enough it did! And I would have bet my right ear that there would be no internet but there is! So now I'm trying to find a way out of here, that is, unless they bring another portion of that delicious pie.

Anyone has any ideas? I'd like to sleep in my own cosy cuddly warm bed tonight... *sniff*

Empty...

Lo and behold

I couldnt sleep last night, so I decided to fly abit around.. checking that no damsel was in distress, and no prince charming was dealing with any over-sized lizards. Well, I must say that the mediterranean character is extremely striking in Maltese people.. the passion especially... red hot sizzling passion...

..I happened to be flying over ta' Qali, and also happened to have forgotten my X-Ray-Night-Vision sight on. OH GOD.. no wonder there are few cars about at night!! Not even Fiat have as many cars parked in their backyard. And occasionally you hear a horn, or see lights going on..

Let me stop here.. I'd rather not go into anymore details, but, who ever dares saying that Spanish are the most mediterranean of all mediterraneans, hasnt been to ta' Qali at 2.00am!

... and so the story goes didadi didadi.. didadidadidadi...

pfffffffff.. heroine for nothing. I'm just back from rescuinging a granny from a couple of burglars; both mighty heavy, was a bit hard to fly them out to matab and dump them home. neways,, I'd rather loose my powers and see That One person happy, but i cant and oh God it is so frustrating. It kills me to see someone in such a state, and it kills me to know that i can do a big, brilliant, bright ZERO. argh...

where art thou oh heroine??

..he was just about to step off when I grabbed him from the collar and pulled him in. Stupid a**hole. What a waste of life it would have been.

Anyhow, I could try it myself, see what happens, hadnt it been for my being able to fly. Nothing much to fly for when the answer you get back is: "sssh, its a secret, dont let the others see it! They'd feel uncomfortable!!"

What about ME??!! Damn it.

Forgive me.. not meaning to be rude, but certain men simply ask for a good beating eh. I'm sick of crying myself to sleep.. HEROINES dont do it!! I mean, I took up the job just for this! Not crying to sleep. And I'm ending up doing it all the time. And in the instruction booklet there's written:
"Guaranteed not to ever lack courage. Able to face any situation with great confidence and decision."

Yeah.. my knickers.

I give up..

Patetic hour

I was bored today; no one needed my help. So I sat on the point of our ariel, feet across, eyes shut and let my self go to thought. I was (still am) sad. Feeling useless is not nice. I felt lonely and set aside. I am so available that people actually use me. To make matters worse, Janna still hasnt found the antidote, and I am sinking under the pressure of the nasty virus. Amazing, I can already see the newspaper headlines:

"Super hero collapses to the only enemy she couldnt defeat: her heart"

help...

welcoming myself

i was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to pour out my thoughts on something non human and expressionless, so here i am. I'm still looking around, superheroines take great care in looking around..it's in our subatomic gene pool. Well, I'm off, time to save the world, again.