Panic spread inside the inner most layers of the Earth's core. Lava boiled at temperatures unthinkable, earthquakes spread out in square ripples, and undescovered petrolium turned bright pink.
I had stepped upon something worse than cow dung on a midsummer's day nightmare.. I had stepped upon a God begotten SCALES *shock*
For a few minutes Earth itself stopped moving and silence ruled the plains while the small, red arrow skidded across the numbers. 20kg.. 30kg.. 40kg.. 50kg.. (silent prayers) alas 60kg.. until it stopped on the trecherous 64kg.
Oh Lord. Not again! Many months, and sweat beads ago I had been this size.. but I had ran, and walked, and lifted, and shifted, and thrown and picked until I was a nice 55kg. Where did all the fat come back from?! The BASTARD!
What is worse is that summer is around the corner, and since the sea is going to be infested by jellyfish.. all the macho-hunks who in the past tempested the blue waves with shiny smiles and tortelli-six-packs will be carpeting the ruddy beaches! That rubs off any intention on my side to lay unhassled, bum towards the blue skies, slowly baking and turning sexy chocolate brown.
Two options present themselves: I can either dive in, magic wand in hand and disintagrate the invading jelly-fish or RE-loose the gained weight. Unfortunately no magic wand has yet been known to disintegrate jelly substances, so the choice is no longer a choice.
And this is where the title to this blogg starts making sense. Its already widely known, altough mostly as a legend, that I attend gym. So obviously a slight instensification of the activity in there.. possibly not the admiring activity, will be required. Another thing is a resolution to eat greens, or anything which isn't green but has seeds, tastes aweful and is generally fed to rabbits.
So, finding myself at a restaurant with an inviting Italian name yesterday, I sat at a table with my slim, and therefore not worried partner. The menu is averagely vast, until you get to the 'salads'. Under this title you find all sorts of things which, yes, make the salad list look long, but NO, aren't salads. Among the 2 or 3 options to genuin salad I picked the Ceaser salad, which seemed to be the less fattening of the lot.
Ceasar salad is lettuce, chicken, bacon, croutons, parmesan cheese and ceasar dressing (what is ceasar dressing? .. search me). Well, it was all that in abundance, especially lettuce. I quite enjoyed the lot, and the chit chat with the happy partner eating a happy pizza. A nice cappuccino ended the meal and we were out of there before too long.
And you would think the story ends there, but.. what respectable story would this be if it didn't have a twist in the end? The twist is infact a twist. More than one actually... in my stomach. I spent the night twisting in bed with aches and pains in my already fat-battered stomach. I will not give details regarding my appearance this morning. I'll spare you the details, and me the shame.
